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Feedback: Helpful information or criticism that is given to someone to say what can be done to improve a performance, product, etc. – Merriam-Webster
Giving feedback is an art! It requires talent, knowledge and tact. Just like a painter is supposed to carefully choose his colors and to blend them in a way that allows him to obtain a good result, the person who gives feedback has to cautiously choose his words in order to get a nice and constructive comment! What it conveys is actually a life lesson that many of us probably ignore. I hope that we all take time to think twice before saying anything. As we say in French, “on doit tourner sa langue sept fois dans sa bouche avant de parler” which literally means that we should turn our tongue seven times in our mouths before talking, meaning that we should take time to reflect on the situation and on the consequences that our comments might have before actually sharing them.
That being said, here are some few tips to keep in mind while giving feedback in Y99 public chats:
1. Make sure you have been asked for your opinion
Yes my friend, the way the world works is this: if it’s a nice thing you have to say then go ahead and say it, but if it’s criticism then hold up right there!
You shall follow this kind advice and all shall be good.
In other words, if you don’t have anything nice to say then it’s best to keep quiet.
But then there are sometimes when you will encounter requests like:
“what do you think about it?”
“what can I do to deal with this situation?”
“Do you like this or that?”
In said cases, please proceed to enforce your point positively.
2. Phrase it nicely
The choice of words will determine whether you’re seen as a nice person or the other way around. I don’t know about you but as far as I’m concerned, people tend to like nice people over not nice people, right? So choose your words wisely. Here are some no nos you need to avoid:
You should have done it “this way”
”I came to see quality conversation and I find this, smh”
“Don’t do/write/use this”
You see, those phrases make you come off as either rude or demanding and nobody likes any of those so keep it positive, nice and above all, respectful.
3. Don’t start/perpetuate drama
Sometimes people state their opinions. More often than not, someone will disagree and think it is somehow productive or effective to start a nasty comeback war that will eventually lead nowhere but bitterness hill and both parties will be left feeling a little more miserable while the rest of the world moves on happy and oblivious to their saltiness
So, when stumbling across comments you disagree with, please remember that everyone is entitled to their opinion and, unless they are being disrespectful or in violation of Y99 Chatroom Guidelines, you should just let them be.
I see many people using the “triggered” excuse way too often. Have a little control over your emotions and act according to the type of human being you want to be perceived as, the rest of the world will appreciate it.
4. A little less whining/ A little more action
Complaining and giving feedback aren’t synonyms. The first one is easy and takes no time, it also is widely underappreciated. The second requires thought, maturity and humility. So, when asked for feedback, make sure you’re making a statement on how things can improve and not just a list of flaws and mistakes and how these bother you. You can save those for yourself or for ranting among friends in private chats.
5. Keep it relevant
I cannot tell you how many times I have seen someone ask for everyone’s opinion on a subject only to get quite a few responses that completely miss the point.
So, please make sure you understand what you’re being asked to give your opinion on and stick to it. Ensure everything you say is accurate, specific and limited only to the behaviour you are intending to address.
6. Don’t be too public
Sometimes, even though you’re not asked for your opinion, you will feel the inescapable need to say something. In those cases, taking your feedback to the public chats may bring feelings of disappointment, embarrassment, sadness and/or anger. Take it to a private chat if necessary and proceed with caution.
Being willing to offer help and guidance is not a crime, however it is not something you need to display in public so please try to avoid it as much as possible.
7. You can always walk away
I don’t think this is what Dr. Seuss had in mind when he wrote this but this is how I’ve chosen to interpret it for this particular occasion. We all have the mental capability to process and take the information that is given to us. We also have the ability to ignore and move on from the things we don’t care for.
So, if you don’t like a particular type of chat, then just walk away and look around. You will most likely find something of your interest, there’s no need to linger and create an uncomfortable environment for those who do enjoy said chat/conversation.
And that all my friends, is how you give feedback.
As someone who has previously faced situations like these before, I feel like this is a serious issue that the Y99 community needs to fight efficiently. Hope you enjoyed reading this blog ~
– Post by Jazy_